2015

Cyn: Do you answer polls? Poll: Yes | No Cyn: I see this trap.

Cyn: Hm. I sent an email to notify people not to worry if they’re having trouble logging in to their email. I may need to rethink this.

Bingo: My external hard drive is 4 trilobites. Cyn: You mean 4 terabytes. Bingo: Terabytes?

Cyn: Too much of a good thing isn’t good.It’s wonderful!

Cyn: I just got back from a trip to La La Land!

Cyn: I can’t understand why it’s called a football when it’s clearly not a foot.Call it like I see it.

Cyn: Every time you see the word “nitpick” you will now think about nits, which are lice eggs.

Cyn: I did my laundry. I’m missing a sock.

Bingo: Hey, look at my new credit card! It’s got a chip in it. Now I can put the chip in my forehead and make purchases with my brain!

PSHHHHH

Cyn: I got chewy Spree because I wanted to know what Dextrose, Corn Syrup, Hydrogenated Coconut Oil, And Less Than 2% of Maltodextrin, Malic Acid, Calcium Stearate, Egg Albumen, Artificial Flavors, Carnauba Wax, Mono- And Diglycerides, Color Added, Blue 2 Lake, Red 40 Lake, Yellow 5, Yellow 5 Lake, Yellow 6; Contains: Egg Ingredient, May Contain Wheat tasted… Read more »

Cyn: Heh, watch this.What’s your second favorite color?Bl-Oh, er… Hrmm.

Cyn: They’ll try to teach you money means winning, and winning is the point.So imagine that’s not the point. Then what is?Fun.

Cyn: No.I just washed my hands with dish soap.NO NO NO

Cyn: Sometimes things that look great in one setting are tacky in another.Of course I’ve done a far superior job with Argent’s yard.

Cyn: The kids at school made fun of me. Called me carrot top, which doesn’t make any sense, because carrot tops are green.

Cyn: Conferences are where everyone cosplays as adults who know what they are doing.

Bingo: I’m no good at this. Argent: It is just a game. Cyn: It’s never “just a game” when you’re the one winning.

Boss: Welcome to the slowest Friday ever. We’ve been waiting for you. Waiting a really, really long time.

Cyn: What’s this and why is it so popular? Argent: The eternal question.

Cyn: Welcome to Randomville. There are no Tuesdays. Bingo: I like chicken.

Bingo: Cyn, the sink is leaking. How do I make it stop? Cyn: I don’t know. But if I did know, I’d withhold the information and tell you I didn’t know.

Cyn: I have a feeling. A feeling something is about to change.

C: The new comic starts next week!

Bingo: No, not tonight Raúl. tffnfgs stggrry dssn grrfm AHEM. As I was saying… Tonight’s story doesn’t come from a book. It’s a story my mum told me when she was a pup. I think you’re old enough to hear it now. For you see, long ago, long before your memory or mine, all of us were wolves.

  Bingo: Back then, the world was nothing but badlands. There were no buildings, no cars,  and no free wifi. The food wasn’t even fresh. It came from the ground. And all the meat was wild. Those were dark times. Really dark! The only thing that was ever in the sky was the full moon.

The wolves ruled it all. Their paws controlled the plants, their tails, the earth, and their noses, the weather. Such was the might of their sorcery that their battles split the land and shaped the earth

The wolves created the sun and the stars and they worshipped the moon. But then one day, something interesting happened. “The moon is just a rock in the sky.”

Everyone was shocked by the faithless wolf. They rejected her ideas. In the end, she set out to search the realm, for surely there must be others like her who knew the truth. And there were.

The pack prospered. They invented fire, and the wheel, and a bunch of other really primitive tools like geometry and astrophysics. The other wolves wanted very little to do with these contraptions.

As often happens with these sorts of things, there was no big break between the two. Over time they just grew apart, and the former wolves made a new name for themselves. Speaker: We have evolved. We are no longer wolves. We are Lupusses! (silence) Speaker: Uh, okay. How about dogs?

You know the rest. But despite all our power, despite our most advanced technologies

The badlands are still there just beyond the fringe. And the wolves must be, too.